Empowering Families
This page was designed to help families, with gentle reminders when supporting a family member with FASD.
Supporting Someone with FASD
Caring for someone with FASD can be rewarding, exhausting, and lonely, sometimes all at once. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed. FASD can be a lot to manage. Families need support too.
Many caregivers experience:
- Feeling judged or labelled “overprotective”
- Grief over changing expectations or broken systems
- Isolation from friends and community
- Deep exhaustion
Fewer Words
When a child with FASD is overwhelmed, staying calm matters most. A calm approach to big emotions helps keep everyone safe.
Tips for Supporting a Child with FASD
Relationships First: Connection Over Correction
Power struggles rarely work when a child’s brain is overwhelmed. Stress makes it difficult to process consequences or reflect on behaviour.
What helps:
- Co-regulation – help them remain calm
- Fewer words- watch your tone
- Regulate the situation first, then try and reason with them
Strong, stable relationships are the best thing you can do for their long-term mental health.
Calm Brains Learn Better
When emotions escalate, learning stops as the brain shifts into survival mode. During meltdowns:
- Use fewer words
- Stay steady and calm
- Avoid threats and consequences
- Maintain safety and simple limits
Afterward, when calm returns, you can gently talk about feelings and choices without shame.
Sensory Differences: “Too Much” or “Too Little”
Many children with FASD experience sensory differences.
Some feel too much (hypersensitive):
- Bright lights, loud sounds, certain textures can be overwhelming.
- Try softer lighting, headphones, quiet spaces, and gentle fabrics.
Some feel too little (hyposensitive):
- They are constantly seeking movement, pressure, or stimulation.
- Try weighted blankets, jumping, pushing, climbing, or movement breaks.
Every child is different. Keep simple notes about what helps. Sensory needs can change.
Don’t Debate
Debating with a child with FASD doesn’t work: it increases stress, makes conversations overwhelming and escalates emotions. Calm voices and clear instructions are far more effective than negotiation.
Everyday Strategies That Help
Keep Communication Simple
- Use short, clear instructions
- Give instructions one step at a time
- Say what to do (“Walk”) instead of what not to do
- Avoid sarcasm or teasing
Remember: Repeating instructions back does not always mean they understand.
Routines & Breaks
Predictable routines are very important. They reduce anxiety and help with memory. A good routine includes:
- Regular breaks
- Downtime before and after busy activities
- Repeating instructions again, and again
Learning often needs repetition to stick.
Choices, Limits
- Match expectations to their ability, not their age
- Offering fewer choices helps them make a decision
- Use visual routine reminders
- Avoid long lectures
Consistency is important.
Create a Comfort Corner
Design a safe, cozy space where your child can reset. Use pillows, blankets, soft lighting, headphones, or a small tent or nook. This is not a punishment space. It’s a place for them to stay calm and take a break.
Reframing Behaviour
They’re not telling you they “won’t”, they just “can’t (right now).”
When a child refuses or shuts down, what you’ve asked them to do may feel too hard, too fast, or too overwhelming. Take a break.
Remind yourself:
“My child isn’t giving me a hard time, they’re having a hard time.”
Break tasks into smaller steps.
Remember: you are often their safest place. They might give you the hardest time as emotions may become overwhelming at home after holding it together all day.
Build a Circle of Support
You don’t have to do this alone. Find a circle of support for you and your child:
- Trusted family members and understanding friends
- Teachers or EAs who support you and your child
- FASD-informed professionals
- Other caregivers and understanding community groups
Peer support reduces stress and builds resilience. Find cheerleaders for you and your child.
Stop Talking
Children with FASD do best with fewer words and calm communication. Short, simple, consistent phrases, and sometimes no words at all, help reduce overwhelming emotions and support regulation and success.
Explore Resources
Empower Families
Practical strategies for caregivers
A Healthy Child Manitoba guide explaining FASD with practical strategies for caregivers.
Helpful strategies to support children and teens with FASD.
Un guide pour parents, tuteurs(trices) et familles
A practical guide with key information and resources for supporting children and adults with FASD.
Caring for a child with FASD is both a challenge and a gift. I am grateful for everyone who took the time to understand, treated us with dignity and supported us without judgement.
Natalie Davison was a strong voice in the FASD community, dedicated to ensuring that families supporting someone with FASD were understood and supported.
